I have been thinking about writing this for days. I wanted to make sure I had uninterrupted time to devote to what I want to say.
This post is not about arrogance. It is a post about reality, truth, love and a story.
We all find in life that when we can relate to something, it gives us a sense of familiarity.
So, here is where it begins.
Todd and I have had a rocky time of things since the beginning.
I feel like we are constantly being tested to see what can finally bring us down.
We both have our faults, which are often magnified by surrounding obstacles.
One day it clicked for me. We are pretty much a real life “Beauty and the Beast”.
I am not saying I am as beautiful as Belle. It is more so the symbolism of the story.
I am the kind, loving and caring part, and he is the tough, guarded and no nonsense part.
The love that they have developed for one another is unmistakable and true. But, as different as they were, they were very much the same, but showed it and lived it different ways.
I firmly believe that Todd is my soulmate. He is my best friend, and I can not imagine my life without him.
Just like Sharon and Ozzy.
Sometimes I also feel like the movie “Hancock”. When they get too close, even though they love each other, it weakens them.
Therefore, we are working on us, we are working on ourselves. We are hoping that couples therapy will help us understand eachother better, so we can have our happily ever after.
He is my world, aside from my girls. There is not one thing that I look at him and say to myself, “wow, I hate that”. There are some things that need work, for both of us, but, I haven’t grown tired of having him around. I look forward to seeing him every day, and I constantly worry that eventually he is going to realize that all this crap is not worth it and he is better off flying solo.
I firmly believe that my previous marriage was a step I needed to take at the time. Not saying I married a man that I despised at the time, just saying that I never truly belonged, and I needed that journey to strengthen me, help me realize who I am, and to finally go after what I really wanted.
It all began with the gym. Three kids later, two of which were literally back to back, I gave something that scared me a chance.
I spent many years feeling lost. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. Each year becoming more and more miserable. Coasting through life with no direction.
Where did I belong?
After going for a few years and basically doing it all on my own, I felt a sense of self again. I felt alive.
Somebody else identified with me. He noticed me and my drive and my desire for something he also truly loved.
I didn’t expect it to happen. I didn’t plan it. It just happened. It has been a tough road ever since. I didn’t do it for money, or lust. I did it for love and the need to feel complete and alive again.
This is where we were….
And we will be back on top again.
With everything going on lately, it has been so easy to lose focus. But, a quote that a friend posted the other day, really helped me to put things into perspective.
“On particularly rough days, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that’s pretty good.”
So, we are going to make it. No matter what bullshit is thrown in our way, we got this.
We need to focus on us. We need to stop allowing outside sources to infect our lives.
This picture was taken right when the madness began. That closeness and adoration has not changed one bit.
But, quite often with all the chaos, it is easy to forget where it all began.
Every challenge is a test of strength and love. We have made it this far. Now it is time for us to test ourselves and become better than we once were.
I love you Todd. Nothing in this world could ever change that.