In the “write” place

I never planned for my life to go the way it has. 

In fact, I never really envisioned anything other than being happy. 

Is it careless to allow life to go as it should?

Should I have made sure that I had a clear and precise plan?

What I am sure of, is that everything has happened for a reason. Even when I have had doubts. 

With every step, each obstacle or victory or test or reward, has shaped my life the way it truly needed to go. 

I am not a religious person, but I understand why having something to believe in is so important. 

It gives you the hope to continue going when you don’t think you can. 

In my mindset, I have been through a lot. In each persons mind, their fight is unique and worse than anybody elses. 

Just remember that, and don’t try to down play their struggle. 

I believe my journey, no matter what I thought it was supposed to be, happened the way it was meant to. 

I have found that I have come almost full circle. 

I have found that “person” I was supposed to be with. 

I have learned about the importance of love and trust and family. 

I am coming back to that creative and unique chick I once was. 

All I can feel is that I feel more at home now in my skin, and I lost my way for a bit. 

I have always been driven by my desire to create, to make, to be a part of anything that pertained to art. Music, writing, drawing, painting, giving, creating….those are things that drive me and keep my heart alive. 

I always hoped that one day I would be “famous” so to speak for something that involved my talents. 

Things I had to learn, but things that I taught myself and had an abilty for. Things that made me happy to share with others. 

I have always loved to write. 

I have always loved being creative. Making floral arrangements, crocheting or coming up with my own ideas for something new and neat! 

I love photography and taking pictures of everything. Capturing moments and memories and beauty. 

I love to sing even though I am only so so. Music has always been fuel for me. 

I would love to show my girls to never give up on their dreams. 

I am almost 37 years old, and I feel like I have a whole hell of a lot to still offer.

Just want to find that thing that helps me to connect with the world. I want to make a difference! 

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I have dreams…

I have dreams in life. Just like everybody else. 

I have things I want to accomplish. 

I have dreams of one day owning my own home. Being able to call it mine, ours. Not having to move again. Be able to do what I wish with the house. Settle and live. 

I have dreams of getting rid of my debt and not having anxiety about how I am going to pay all the bills. 

I have dreams of being successful and happy with what I do. I have always wanted to work in a flower shop and be creative. I love being creative in general and wish I could use those talents to support my family.


I wouldn’t even mind being a receptionist or secretary or whatever they call them these days. The organizing and keeping track of things makes me happy. 

I have dreams about getting some sort of college degree, just to know I did it. 

I love to write. I always wanted to be a newpaper columnist or write for a magazine. 

I love taking pictures! 


I’d like to skydive one day, see a real tornado, swim with dolphins, and get back to Jamaica. 

I feel like a failure most days. I know, I know, I take care of my girls and that is not failing. 

I need more. I need a bigger purpose, I have so much to share and offer. 

As much as I see myself as unique, I don’t stand out at all. 

I often wonder if the days are going to continue to go by and I continue to accept that my dreams and wants and desires are never going to come to fruitition. 

I need something big. I need something great to save me. Give me hope. Give me reason to believe that when the time is right, some of my dreams will come true. 

Jack of all trades

After my post yesterday, I thought to myself, “holy shit, I do a lot”.

Landscape, cut grass, fix things (and usually not half ass either, unless the situation only leads me to do a half ass fix). 

I cook, a lot of times from scratch. I clean furniture and carpets. Re-arrange furniture. 

I take care of kids and pets. 

I am crafty and creative. I taught myself how to crochet. 

I lift weights and Train. I can hang with the boys. I like cars and motorcycles. 

I have just gotten used to doing things myself, and I enjoy being independent. Therefore, I never leave anything for Todd to do when he gets home. 

I am a pretty well rounded person. 

I am not super intelligent, because us right brained people are bored with math and sciences. 

I am not stupid either. I have taken quite a few college credits. But, I could never pinpoint what I should be doing. 

Unfortunately, my talents and abilities are worth just about nothing in the big, bad, world. 

But, I guess on the other hand, that is what makes me unique. I was voted “Most Unique” my senior year of highschool. 

I know my daughters appreciate it. Their smiles are what lights my fire. I know that I have a place in this world. I just don’t think it has a specific name like, secretary or doctor. I know my title is mom, but not sure what that other title would be. 

My Thursday

My day started off with time at the gym with Todd.

Then it was a stop at walmart for a few things. 

But then I got into this:


It’s all bamboo and totally out of control on the hillside. 

I had to cut my job short due to a weak and pathetic thunderstorm, that looked so impressive on radar. 

But, I got an idea. 

I turned an old arrangement I made into a fresh and new one with some bamboo. 


I think I like it better now. 

😄