The Big Purge

I have accumulated way too much crap in the past 14 years. I keep packing it up and dragging it on to the next place.

This time, I am tossing shit left and right and loving every minute of it. 

After so much of our stuff was destroyed in the garage, I decided there was so much other “garbage” we don’t need, obviously don’t want, and some things just needed to go so we can part with our past. 

I am moving on. We are moving on. We have learned a lot about ourselves and eachother and I am just exhausted with the fight. Nobody wins, like I said. 

I lived a life where I lived pretty well. I became arrogant and hateful. 

Time to simplify. I feel renewed, so it is time to start new. 

I was living a lie. I thought I knew where I belonged. I was young. I wasn’t wise enough yet. 

I have grown, I have learned, I have stumbled and I have fallen flat on my face. 

But, where I am in life right now, with myself and my life, it is where I belong. 

I have things that are a piece of me, like my yarn and coloring books. 

But, there are plenty of things that I no longer need to hold on to.

I am totally ok with that. 

I am just being me these days, and I couldn’t be happier. 


I lied

The other day I said that divorce was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. 

I lied. 

Breaking it off with my fiance trumps that. 

To tell my soulmate that we can no longer be together is crushing. 

I always say that everything happens for a reason. He helped me get my life back, and for that I will be eternally grateful. 

But, I also say that the hardest things to do in life are often for the best. 

I do not know how my days will go. I do not know how my girls will react. I just know that I need to move on. 

I gave everything I had. I am exhausted. I have nothing more to give. 

You know, they say you can’t change a person, and that is so true. 

I deserve better. I hope to one day find it. 

So here I sit, alone on a friday night. 

I feel numb. 

My two best buds to keep me company…