Love, what is it good for?

When you think you have found your soulmate and they turn into a monster…

Or rather progress and become worse…

I gave my everything. Always. 

Now, I am just crushed. I have been putting on my game face. 

Gotta be tough for my girls. But, come tomorrow when they go to be with their dad, I will be alone. 

I want to cry now. 

I feel like shattered glass. 

It was always me, or so I was told. 

There is nothing wrong with me. 

When a person instigates a fight in an amusement park parking lot, and the other person is about to get a handgun from their car, you know for sure that you are not the one with the problem. 

When a person verbally attacks your 3 year old because her lil body is tired which is making her cranky, you know it’s not you. 

When they pull over the car on the highway and get out and your first thought is get into the drivers seat and go and they try to punch your window out, you know it’s not you. 

When your 8 year old hugs you and tells you that she didn’t like the way you were treated, but didn’t want to say anything, you know it’s not you, and you know it is over. 

I just want to be loved and respected and appreciated. 

I just want someone to realize all that I do and how big my heart is and not shit on it. 

I want someone who tells me I am beautiful. Makes me feel special, because I know that I am. 

And the tears begin to fall. 

My dad always told me I was a fuck up, and I guess he is right. 

Wipe your eyes and move on. Sissies don’t survive in life. Become guarded. Put your fortress walls up again. 

You are on your own now. Deal with it. 


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