I sometimes think about how life would be now if I stayed in my marriage.
Do I miss it? Not so much. What I think about is the uncertainty of my future. I would be thinking about that regardless, that is what the anxiety does for me.
I have no career path, and in less than 3 years, I won’t have the alimony to fall back on.
Yes, I have Todd, but I still worry about making it. Some people say that it is so long from now. I am the kind of person who likes to be prepared. It scares me that I have no future solution.
Things can change and they probably will several times before then. But, life is unpredictable like the weather.
I want to make sure that there are no major worries about paying my bills and taking care of my girls.
I try not to dwell on it and live each day the best I can, but sometimes those thoughts come creeping up. They blast my anxiety into full effect.
I don’t know how to fix it and I think that bothers me more than anything….