Mind + Muscle Connection

If you have never heard of it, it might be one the most important things to remember while training. 

Visualize the muscles you are training. If you don’t know what muscles you are working, then you have bigger problems. 

I guarantee that if you use your mind to hone in on the muscles in play, you will feel them working. 

Don’t just pull and tug stuff while you are working out. Form is also very important, or you will be working muscles that are not your target. This could cause strain, premature tiredness, and ineffectual training.

If you have no clue what you are doing, ask for help to avoid injury and maximize your workout. 

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I just read this article. It is about a woman who found her husband being unfaithful. 

As that is one big part of why I was lead to divorce, the story made me think about how I have been coping and living.

I feel a lot of what is written. 

It is amazing how your eyes finally open. You get to breathe. You Feel things in a different way. 

You are able to overcome all the things that held you back, and you begin to be able to face things head on. 

I don’t feel so miserable anymore not having to try to please the world, and the person who dragged me down. 

I just do my thing, which is better now. Selfless. I don’t look for approval. 

Furthermore, as I look back on things, I begin to realize how mis-matched we were.

I don’t think that there are any ground rules on who you choose as a mate, but I do think, sometimes we choose based on the wrong feelings, sometimes subconsciously. 

I truly don’t believe that my ex and I were meant to be. 

I feel that at that time in my life, I needed something. I needed stability. Somebody to bring me back to reality. Someone to help me grow. 

At the time, it seemed like love. With the increasing bitterness and resentment, I knew that that leg of my journey was over.

We made three beautiful girls. All of which tested my strength in so many ways.

And here I am. 

Divorced with three children, engaged and life is so different. 

I know I am stronger, happier and more optimistic. 

I have my good days and bad. Some days, I just have nothing to say. It feels like every cloud passing by stops above me, but I also know, that I have the choice to step out of the darkness and make a difference. 

Even though it was my choice to end the marriage and move on, doesn’t mean everything is easier and perfect. 

It just means now that I know my strength, and I don’t need to rely on anyone. 

There is totally a sense of clarity after divorce or another traumatic event. 

A test of our true selves, foreign but real. There is an adjustment from what you have been used to and what life has to offer. 

Closing your eyes and willing it all to change or go away is not an option. You have to stand up and face it. Prove your worth to yourself, and finally live. 

http://community.today.com/post/the-other-side-of-pain

My addiction…


(These are my newest addition)

It is a well known fact that the ladies love their shoes. 

Name brand heels, trendy sandals, several pairs of flashy flip-flops. 

Not for me. 

My shoe addiction is unique and fun DC shoes. #dcshoes


I wear them to the gym. I wear them everywhere. ( I sound like Dr. Seuss)


You will never see me in a pair of flip-flops. I would never buy canvas sneakers. I do have some nice boots and heels though.

But my style is mine. 

Seeing this box makes me happy! 

Lost

I feel more lost in life than ever. There are always so many decisions to make. I have been putting stuff off just so I don’t have to deal with it. Maybe I just don’t want to deal with it. Maybe I am just tired of dealing with it.

I don’t like to coast. I like to have answers and know what direction I am going in. 

Right now, all that is up in the air. 

As much as I try not to fall into the same holes as my parents, especially my mom, I find myself following some of their paths. 

I have overcome some of the biggest things. For instance, I grew up in a very volatile environment. My parents never got along, as far back as I can remember. The norm for me was my mom sleeping on the couch to be away from my dad. Daily fighting and arguing. Sometimes physical. I vowed not to bestow that kind of life on my girls. 

But, the coasting part, that is from my mom. Stayed home with the kids. Did everything because my dad had shift work. Didn’t further her education and was left to work minimum wage jobs. 

I want to be something for my girls. I want them to be able to look up to me and know that I did everything I could in life to succeed and not give up. 

That is where I am failing. 

I feel so lost. Are there clues that I am missing? Does somebody have an answer? Am I overthinking things, and the pieces will fall into place when they need to? 

I have no answers, just questions. Sometimes I feel like I am just losing my fight and accepting things how they are. 

No Direction

I sometimes think about how life would be now if I stayed in my marriage. 

Do I miss it? Not so much. What I think about is the uncertainty of my future. I would be thinking about that regardless, that is what the anxiety does for me. 

I have no career path, and in less than 3 years, I won’t have the alimony to fall back on. 

Yes, I have Todd, but I still worry about making it. Some people say that it is so long from now. I am the kind of person who likes to be prepared. It scares me that I have no future solution.

Things can change and they probably will several times before then. But, life is unpredictable like the weather. 

I want to make sure that there are no major worries about paying my bills and taking care of my girls. 

I try not to dwell on it and live each day the best I can, but sometimes those thoughts come creeping up. They blast my anxiety into full effect. 

I don’t know how to fix it and I think that bothers me more than anything….

Starting to get it back


My muscle and shape is returning. Thank you muscle memory! 

I just need to lean out. Why is the diet so hard for me right now? I guess that 5 lb bag of sour patch kids I bought from the grocery store earlier doesn’t help. They are super yummy though. 

I get all my meals prepared and put away. I start off good. Three good days of being almost on target. My before bed snacking is the worst. I almost wish Todd would smack the food away from me at night. But, then I start to lose it mid week.

I skip meals, I eat crap. Oh my god, it makes me so mad. 

I keep cheering myself on to get it right, and then I make excuses. I am not an excuse maker either.

I guess at least I know what the issue is and I know how to fix it, I just need to do it, commit. 

I will be here again…