My oldest daughter, Allura, who is 8, came to me last night to tell me she was being made fun of. It is really nothing big, but to her, it is bothersome. She began to cry. I talked to her for quite awhile. She will be fine, because her mommy has been through it all.
I have always been different, in some ways not by choice and other ways, it was my choice. Regardless, I have never changed to fit in.
Grade school was the worst. There was an older girl that would pick on me. Follow me home from school. She called me names, spit on me and threw rocks at me. Of course there were the kids in my class who obviously felt in-superior and had to pick on the quiet kids, or the kids that didn’t fit in, like me.
It was hurtful. It was especially damaging as I got older. I was trying to find myself, and the weak people fed off of trying to bring the strong and unique down.
I had many dark times in my life. Moments that I am not proud of. I was a cutter as a young teen. I was out of control as an older teen. I was myself, but still seeking to find approval from someone.
It is when someone finally wins and knocks you down, that you realize that you are worth more than that.
I am strong willed, unique, independent, outgoing, bold and a leader.
These very things I will teach my girls.
Allura will find sooner than her sisters how cruel people can be. It is my job to prepare her for life and what is to come.
It is my job to build her up, guide her and be a person who understands and whom she can go to any time she needs help.
It is my job to let her know, that even though there are mean people in this world, that she needs to focus on the good and not let the bad bring her down.
I will not contact the school, even though they have a no tolerance policy. I will not contact the parents.
In life we can not run and report everything we deem hurtful or unjust. We have to learn and adapt. Telling someone that so in so has been bothering them will not change who that person is, or how they are being brought up. Learning to be strong and not allowing them to manipulate us, is what will keep us moving forward.
Of course it hurts me that she is hurting. I have been through it all. But, she has a great teacher that loves her. I will do my very best to keep her on track, to help her see how special she is, even when someone wants to break her down.
That is life. I will fight for her when necessary. I will comfort her when needed. But, I can not fix life. I can only teach and prepare her to be herself which is by far the greatest triumph she will have.