Off the grid

March was a horrible month. I turned 36 on the tenth. Shortly thereafter, I got the flu. It was the most horrific illness I had ever had at that point. Or so I thought. 

I began to get better, but still far from being 100%.  Then I started to get worse. I woke up early on the saturday before Easter. I didn’t feel well. Something told me that I needed help getting better. I drove myself to the emergency room. 

My condition was worsening. Test after test. Pill after pill. Bloodwork, IV’s. I had pneumonia in both lungs, critically low potassium, I was severely dehydrated, and I had a 5cm cyst on my only ovary left in which they were unsure if it had burst or not. 

After a long morning, I was finally admitted on the cardiac floor, due to my potassium level. 

Todd and I were actually not talking at the time, wasn’t sure at that point if we would again. But, I didn’t have anyone, I needed someone to at least tend to the pets until I got out of the hospital. 

I reluctantly called him, I thought he wouldn’t care, and he rushed to my side. 

Then I knew, that love is stronger than any hurdle. 

So, I was supposed to get my girls back that day from their dad, but, I was stuck in the hospital. I was in very bad shape. Scared and sad that I couldn’t see my girls, we were supposed to dye eggs that night. 

I spent the night, where I was getting blood draws and rounds of antibiotic, potassium and fluids intravenously. 

I was in so much pain, at one point I was getting morphine. 

I got released in the afternoon on Easter. I got home and immediately filled their baskets and went and got them. I felt like I had let them down. Allura was so happy to see me, she was sad I was in the hospital. I was just happy to see them. We went home and they went through their baskets and then I set up an Easter egg hunt in the backyard. I was still very ill at the time, but, anything for my girls.

I had never been so sick in all my life. I am still trying to recover. Often short of breath, in which I now have an inhaler. Sharp pains in my sides when I inhale deeply. I am banned from the gym until I get another chest xray in 2-3 weeks. 

What a nightmare! But, I have learned some things from my horrible March. I have learned how strong I am, both physically and mentally. I have learned that love conquers all. I have learned that I am capable of saying “I love you” to my dad. I have learned that I am a good mother, and I have one of the hardest jobs in the world. I have learned that I am a good person with a big heart who just wants to be happy and not struggle so much. I have learned the biggest lesson ever, the value and love of family. 



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